To Deal With Fear
Fear is experienced in many ways and looks different to each person. At its highest use Fear, spelled with a capital F, is the opposite of Love and covers any 'negative' experience. There have been many acronyms for the 'big' Fear - one is "false evidence appearing real." However we define it, the 'big' Fear creeps into our lives in many ways. It can appear as anger, resentment, depression, hate, attachment, guilt, jealousy, envy, aggression, criticism, complaining, arrogance, and many more, including 'fear of ____' (fill in the blank).
This article is really about 'fear of _____' something, because dealing with the 'big' Fear is far too complex for such a short article. I know that for many of you this idea of what I call the 'big' Fear seems absurd; for example, how can resentment or envy be fear? Although I am not going to get into such a profound and deep subject here, it comes from ideas in The Course In Miracles which defines this Fear as a perceived separation from our Source, or God, whatever name you use, which then leads to all of the other manifestations cited above. If we feel separate from each other and everything else on this planet we develop a fear of each other, not trusting and always suspicious in some way.
Well, we are separate, I hear you saying, look around, how can my body and yours, not be separate? Granted our bodies are separate, but this is not the point of this Fear, and is where separation stops. If there is One Source of all there is, then everything must be a manifestation of that Source and an aspect of It. Therefore, nothing is separate in consciousness or energetically. Stated differently, Science, through quantum physics, states that everything is energy vibrating at an infinite number of frequencies. Therefore, we are all 'one' energetically.
Okay let's get back to fear of _____ (fill in the blank). Although I began with what to some is an 'off the wall' idea, we all know that fear is a big issue in our lives; actually the only issue. What we fear we tend to avoid. Some say that public speaking is the most feared process by most people, so most people never speak in public in any form. People may actually relocate their living circumstances to avoid some fear.
If you are tired of avoiding your fears, what can you do about it? There are as many ways to get through your fears as there are self-help teachers out there. Some say just to plow through it and come out the other side without it - face the fear and just do it. While that may seem pretty scary to many people, for those that embrace it fully, it works. But what if you don't want to face it and move through it? Think about what fear is about, or in particular, what your fear is about. How does it relate to the preceding discussion about separation and the 'big' Fear?
All fears come from beliefs. There is a belief about whatever it is you fear that causes the fear. What is your belief(s) about the particular fear you want to work on? Now this activity may take some 'soul searching', because many beliefs are hidden in your unconscious mind; especially those that cause fears of some kind. What belief could produce a fear of ________? Play with this for awhile; you may produce some surprising results.
As an example, let's say you fear heights. What belief do you think would cause someone to be afraid of being high off the ground? Well, one obvious belief is that if you fall you will hurt your body terribly or die. If you are climbing a ladder this may seem a valid belief. But what if you are at the top of a tall building like the Sears building in Chicago or the Empire State building in New Your City? The probably of falling from there is nil, yet the fear persists. So the belief might be that anytime you are up off the ground you will fall and die.
Where would a belief like that originate? Did you fall from something when you were a baby or small child and hurt your body? Did someone scare you by pretending to drop you? Did someone else project their own fear of heights on to you, and you believed them? The origin of a belief can come from a variety of sources - that is why the belief may take awhile to uncover.
Let's go back to the fear of public speaking. What belief would cause someone to be afraid to stand before an audience and speak? How about making a mistake and being laughed at or booed? Now you have a fear of making a mistake or being humiliated, which caused a fear of public speaking. What belief would cause a person to fear making a mistake? Well, it folds into being humiliated, but also being punished. What belief would cause a person to fear punishment? If punishment came from a harsh father who beat you or worst, then now you have a belief.
You see how it works? Start with the fear and work your way backwards until you find what is called the base or foundation belief - the one that feeds all of the higher ones. Get rid of that one and all the beliefs crumble. Whatever process you use, and there are many on the internet; just Google the fear or belief, you must start somewhere if you are ever going to dismantle a fear.
Did you think I was going to give you some kind of quick fix for ridding yourself of fears? I would like to, but there are no 'quick fixes' for any growth-oriented process. If there were, the whole world would be 'saved' by now and we would all love each other and accept who we are. We aren't there yet because it is not easy. We all have choices to make; either we live in fear avoiding what we don't like, or we do the work to move past what holds us back from the life we want to live.
Your choice; what will it be? The old saying, "you keep doing what you have always done, and you will get what you have always gotten", should give you something to consider about making a choice. Fear is not real. It is a belief. The belief may not have even been your own. Consider taking a step in the direction you would like your life to go. What would that step look like?
The preceding is only a glimpse at the whole fear/belief cycle that moves through our lives every day. It is a way of life for most people who don't know how to stop it. You have learned enough here to get off the train of fear or at least take a step in that direction.
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