One Crucial Step To Unconditional Love
By Art Ramsay, PhD

 In the 60’s we were blessed with shamans giving us spiritual messages, of which most of us didn’t have a clue. Who were these shaman’s? They were, of course, song writers and singers such as The Beatles, Styx, The Who, Foreigner, and so on. If I knew then what I know now, I would have recognized those messages, or at least, listened more carefully.

 One that comes to mind is Foreigner’s (Mick Jones) "I want to know what love is”. The words to this song may, on the surface, appear to be someone crying out in pain to a girlfriend perhaps, or maybe to someone or something much deeper. The love here seems to be about romantic love, but is it really?

 A song I have often used when writing about love is Bette Midler’s (Amanda Broom) The Rose. “…I say love, it is a flower, and you its only seed”. Again, we have a song that appears on the surface as a song about romantic love, but the words above reveal its true meaning.

 What am I getting at here? We have been given messages for decades, centuries even, telling us what life is all about. But have we recognized these messages for what they were telling us? You know the answer. It is time to wake up, to recognize what is all around us, the messages, and signs being given us.

 But, what do signs and messages have to do with love? Since Love is all there is, they mean everything. I cannot describe Love, for it is indescribable. But I can give you messages that have been with us for a long time. From A Course In Miracles: “Teach only Love, for that is what you are”; “Love holds no grievances”; “There is no Love but God’s”.

 From the Christian Bible: “Love does not come to an end”; Paul’s lessons continue by noting that everything else comes to an end; this lesson, in itself shows us that Unconditional Love, which is what he is discussing can have no conditions that would change it regarding another person or condition.  “When I was a child, I spoke as a child … but now see clearly …”.

 I am not going to just give you quotes here, you can read them anywhere; I want to discuss how the above and other aspects of Love can be used in our lives. In other articles I have written regarding Love, I have noted that there is a big difference between the Love I am writing about here and the love that most people believe in.

 The love that is “practiced” by most people, at least in western societies, is what is called romantic love; you “fall in love” through some relationship however brief or extended. If you can fall IN love, you can fall OUT of love, thus it is temporal. When I was younger I was told that romantic love eventually turns into real love, during an extensive relationship/marriage. Breakups of long-term relationships and divorces rates tell a different story. Granted there are some that do hold up, but overall they are in the minority in the world.

 Even with relationships that last longer, an attachment may be really what we see. A person becomes so infatuated with another that he or she cannot let go of the perceived need. They project their own need for Love onto someone else and believe that person will provide it.

 What is really needed for love to become Love is acceptance. I have written articles on this subject and it is a whole chapter in my eBook, Inner Peace Revealed. Acceptance is about seeing beyond appearances to what is real. Of course, appearances come from unconscious beliefs, which I have written about many times.

 When you can accept a person for who they are as a human seeking Love, however it may appear, you can Love them. In order to do this, however, you have got to Love you. This is the crux of loving another. Loving yourself is what this is really about, because any reaching out for someone else to love is a cry for help. It is YOU who needs Love, not the other person.

 I have given in at least one article and in my eBook methods for loving yourself, but I will repeat them here. The major stumbling block for many people is forgiveness, which might need to precede the practice of self-love. Again, I have articles on this subject, but basically you look into a mirror and forgive you for all of the unforgiving you have held toward others. Start with something small and work up to the bigger stuff.

 Once the above is underway and you are making progress, begin looking in the mirror (into your eyes) and practice saying “I Love you”; AND MEAN IT!! This is crucial. You must feel Love in your heart when you say those words. Just saying it and not feeling it is meaningless. You must accept yourself for who you are as a human; your personality.

 It took me quite awhile to get to the recognition of what I wrote above. We are taught from childhood not to be selfish, that caring for others is more important than caring for ourselves. This is a lie that has come from religious doctrines nowhere did Jesus teach this. He taught us to go within and find the Being of Love we truly are.

 It is true that Buddhism teaches that we come here to recognize and connect with suffering, and then to help relieve it. But, and this is a big but, this is only after the practitioner has fully Loved him/her self. So you see, loving you first is at the heart of all spiritual practice. And so it is here.

 Be Love.


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